"The Farther That I Crawl, The Further That I Fall"

I wish I could tell you that I had a breakdown standing the frozen foods section of the grocery store, upon discovering that Edy's was completely out of rocky road ice cream. I wish I could tell you I fell apart and stood there holding a basket, great, fat tears washing down my face and bouncing off my chin. I wish I could.

I've always held out that life is life, and it's not really THAT hard...all you must do is keep on living, and even when everything goes wrong, well, you stay alive, day after day, and you get through it, and things change, and they get better. Hope, it's called. So nothing could ever ruin my life, because I'd still be alive -- "What, am I going to die? Will it kill me?" would be a popular response of mine -- and even if I DID die, well, death's not the end. So how could anything RUIN my life? I preached this gospel, and I lived it, and I breathed it, and it was me.

But what if I told you I was a liar? What if I told you that I was the lyingest liar that ever lied? And what if I were to tell you that the last sentence of the preceding paragraph was in the past tense for a reason? Would it make any difference?

The silence has slain me. Are you happy now?