"My Heart's Beating Out of My Chest"

I couldn't get to sleep last night. I lay there for hours, my mind racing, knowing I had to sleep but entirely unable to. I haven't done that in a long time. Not even on those horrible nights... once I made my mind up to go to bed, my head would hit the pillow, and off I'd drift.

The thing that most disturbs me is that I woke up with my mind racing too. Well, more accurately, my heart racing. It was as if nothing had stopped while I had been unconscious. It made me afraid of what dreams I had had and couldn't remember. Also, the word "grenouilles" was replaying over and over. I couldn't make it stop. Frightening, really.

The frogs have died down, but the adrenaline surge is still going. I hope that whatever it is, it stops, because this is really a most unpleasant feeling. One reason I don't use drugs, ever, illegal or otherwise. I can't stand the artificial feeling.

Oh, and I kept thinking spiders were crawling on me last night. Terrifying. Something is wrong somewhere. Maybe someone spiked my orange juice. Or maybe I need to relax and think about something else.