Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Spring Break Decisions

I have such a difficult decision to make.

This is the kind of decision I feel enormously bad blogging about, because how many people get to be this lucky? And then I go and complain about the inconvenience of my luck? What is that about? So know first-off that I am NOT complaining; that I am extremely grateful, and that I indeed feel very loved. And that I am so poor right now that I sobbed to my mother on the phone about how I can't even afford nice, non-Wal-Mart brand lotion, even though I work fulltime. My finances just cannot catch a break, and I feel stretched almost to the breaking point at times, so this? In some small way makes up for that, even if I don't take the opportunity.

So. I have a friend whose parents are flying themselves and him to Mexico for spring break. He invited me to come along, at first jokingly, and then much more seriously. Of course I was excited. I've never had a spring break before, and going to Mexico would be fun and exotic and so so warm. The more serious it became, though, the more problems I ran into. I have no money for a passport. Fine, that expense would be taken care of. I still have no time, though, to run home and get a passport. I've thought about this every which way, and I just don't know what to do, short of skipping class (which I can't afford to do, since they're big on attendance at this school, and the material is challenging, as well as engaging), or skipping work (which I also cannot afford to do). I have big papers and projects due right after spring break, which means I'd need to work on them while on vacation. But I have no laptop, so I'd have to work on them longhand and transfer the data, which is exhausting. I can't afford the time off of work. It's really far away, and I'd like a chance to just sit at home and play video games, uninterrupted. Also, I'd be missing the beginning of March Madness if I went. Cabo San Lucas isn't the tamest of tourist destinations, either; it's party central come spring break time, and I'm not a partier. While my friend and his parents aren't either, I don't even like being around it. I'm just so the opposite of impressed by that entire scene.

But. Buuuut. Mexico, for a week, in a hotel that I could never afford, with someone who loves adventures and whimsy. Sleeping on hot sand. And this boy? So so cute. SO. I'd really, really love to be able to justify it. I keep telling myself to stop being a pansy-wimp and just GO FOR IT. But I'm jittery, and those jitters are not helping me.

Please help me. I can't decide, and if it came to a coin toss, I know which I'd choose. I'd choose easier and less stressful, and I just may regret that. I wish I could see the future right now, just a little piece.

EDIT: Now they're going to Hawaii, and I don't even need a passport.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Baltazar said...

don't know what to say

4:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Think carefully. Don't ruin the rest of your year. You have lots of time ahead of you for all the fun things.

8:14 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

I have...what time for all the fun things, exactly?

12:23 AM  
Blogger Dallan said...

Don't be crazy... GO

10:30 PM  

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