Thursday, October 20, 2005

"I Am Half Sick Of Shadows" She Said

I play the part of shadows. That is me, in the corner there, the glimmering ghost of a girl; if you watch closely, you might even catch the faint traces of a flickering smile. But that means you're not paying attention, because I...I play the part of shadows.

You see, shadows are insubstantial illusions -- fairytales filtering into a world that remembers. It is my burden to be missed. It is my fault -- I left in the first place. But is it fair in the slightest to be so constantly missing, and to require that people pay that homage to my memory?

I like being missed, I really do.

But I'm afraid I like it too much, and I refuse to ask it of anyone anymore.

I left, and I'm not coming back. Trust me, I know how that hurts. It is precisely because I know how it hurts that I do what I do. I am not going to be the void or the missing piece or the scent still lingering on the pillow that recalls fresh dreams clearly to your mind. I want to be more than a shadow.

I won't be, though. I'm not certain what I will be, but I am not settling, and I am not stopping until I have saved the world.

Such requires that I play the part of shadows -- and so I do.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

Sometimes I like being in the shadow as well. It makes me seem kinda mysterious and I just like saying that word so it's cool. I also like being missed and having people tell me they miss me. It just brigthens my day! Beth, I MISS YOU!

7:35 PM  
Blogger Baltazar said...

once again you made me read something.remarkable use of words.

6:57 PM  

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