Thursday, February 09, 2006

What Do You Say We Go For A Ride?

SNAP OUT OF IT, I say to myself. Self does not listen so well. Self seems to have lost all the self-control she once bragged about; that is what you get for bragging, it seems. It's a fair punishment, I suppose, even when it seems so very very not fair.

I am the little girl who cried, not wolf, but "Unfair!" So unfair. What that cry does, though, is it cripples. It takes away your grace and your goodness, and it leaves you cold and empty and feeling sorry for yourself while your toast gets cold on its plate because you just can't stomach it. (Does this example seem a little autobiographical? It should, even though I ate my toast today.)

So here is my side of the story: If your girlfriend and other guests are over, I don't think it's polite to chat online with other people. I just don't. When I find out that such has been going on for weeks or longer, I am going to be, first of all, confused. Why would someone be online when people (especially a girlfriend) are over? And then I'm going to feel bad, because decency is my lowest standard of interaction, and I've been made to be indecent for a long time, without my knowledge or consent. I haven't stopped feeling bad, either: I still think it's somehow wrong, though I can't exactly communicate how.

I don't want to apologize for feeling this way.

But I think I have to. I upset my internet friend in revealing this, and I cannot stomach upsetting people and leaving them that way. So unfair -- so...there it is.

And all the rest of it you couldn't begin to guess at.

[Note to God: Where did your sense of humour go?]

5 Comments:

Blogger Corith Malin said...

God has no sense of humor because he gave me all of his. That's why I'm so funny looking.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh...nyce 1 cor...anyway, I personally believe the matter iz that there iz nuttin more valuable than the truth...and illiteracy iz da death of us ALL...so whut we're sayin iz sympathy WITH kompassion kyd

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deal with it women...Man iz da all-beautiful kreature, serve hym well...and you shall be rewarded...Biatch! lol x=0P...To do utherwyze iz ALREADY indecent and unfair to OTHERZ!...Just kauze you don't see it with doze pale eyez, doezn't mean it iz not SO!

4:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It iz so ridikulous to even mention...Perfektly shallow liz...Kongradulationz...You're equally the failure you'd konspiRe to BE!

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rhymez are weak...Not the lord kyd

4:41 PM  

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