MythBusting

Some days I think I was made only to be an intellectual; to go about this life, book-in-hand, expending my days in careful, deep thought.

And then I miscalculate and fall off the couch, and every illusion I ever had about myself or my inherent grace and wisdom is shattered as my body lands unceremoniously on the carpet.

So I think I'll shatter some other illusions about myself:

- I'm not cold, passionless, and stoic. If I act that way, maybe it's because I don't want to be dodging any ill-timed kisses from you, sir. Or maybe I'm hoping you'll make the first move.

- I have incredibly soft skin. It's not natural; it's called "Jergen's Age-Defying Multivitamin" lotion. Apply daily.

- When I say that I'm only honest about 12% of the time - it's not that I'm lying, it's just that I'm not being fully candid.

- I kinda liked that Vanessa Carlton song. That one, with the piano, and the singing, and all the adolescent, whimsical hopes? Yep, that one.

- Sometimes when my away message is up, I'm actually still online, and probably chatting with someone. It helps me screen IM's, and get away from - maybe you.

- It's not that I don't like math. It's that I'm too lazy to bother caring.

- I don't take care of my cuticles.

I still wish I were graceful enough not to look like a failure, though. At least there weren't TOO, too many witnesses.