You May Tell 12 People Whatever You Want
No names, just say how you feel:
1 - I don't know very many people who could put up with half of what you do. You deserve so much better than that psychologically abusive freak you're somehow attached to. Let's run away somewhere, together.
2 - I'm not mad at you. I am disappointed, but I chalk it up to just desserts. Thank you for forgiving me.
3 - Your wife misses you. I want to throw the heaviest book in my bag at your face sometimes. You never did buy her those flowers like I told you to, did you?
4 - I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid that you care too much, and that the world is breaking you. The only sound that still has the power to make me shake like I'm going to die is the sound of your crying. I tried not to let him hurt you, but he did, and now I'm gone.
5 - I liked you, but then you went and made out with someone else - and to think, we would have made such an unstoppable couple.
6 - I cannot be wooed, won, or had, by any means. But thank you so much for acting like an arrogant child when I explained how it's gonna be. Tell me this: had I capitulated and gone along with your fierce desires, in what possible reality could we have built something together? None. Not one single logically potential world holds a spot for us. Also, I hope you learn to be nicer to people, because you may think it's cute, but it really just puts me on edge and forces me to do things like kick you out of my ontology of being.
7 - I wish I were as graceful as you can be. Really, you have a lot of the gazelle in you, with those impossibly long legs and slender frame. And I have somewhat of a peahen. We should band together and start a zoo.
8 - I incorrectly judged you before I even met you, and the only thing that could possibly make me feel better about that is that you did the same with me. Just so you know, I'm afraid of girls, and especially brunettes, but you have been such a godsend that I would not know what to do without you. I'm glad you're staying.
9 - There's so much I want to tell you, but I can't even begin. Maybe one day you'll love me for who I actually am, but that will take most of eternity, so I'm not holding my breath.
10 - You put up with me through everything, and even now, you're the only one I feel like talking to when my life implodes upon itself. You were always there when I wanted to come back to you, and that loyalty quite simply, warms my heart.
11 - Now I'm not so positive that things are irreparable between us, and that I should cut my losses and learn to think without your words wrapped around me. I'm not so positive, but I'm not ready to actually hope for a future. Actually, that was a bold-faced lie - you know me well enough to know that I cannot help hoping. I'm just tired of feeling like we're only close in your loss, because to wish for an us is to wish you sad again, and I cannot do that.
12 - No one else in the history of ever can or could make me laugh with the sheer rapture that you can. Call me?
1 - I don't know very many people who could put up with half of what you do. You deserve so much better than that psychologically abusive freak you're somehow attached to. Let's run away somewhere, together.
2 - I'm not mad at you. I am disappointed, but I chalk it up to just desserts. Thank you for forgiving me.
3 - Your wife misses you. I want to throw the heaviest book in my bag at your face sometimes. You never did buy her those flowers like I told you to, did you?
4 - I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid that you care too much, and that the world is breaking you. The only sound that still has the power to make me shake like I'm going to die is the sound of your crying. I tried not to let him hurt you, but he did, and now I'm gone.
5 - I liked you, but then you went and made out with someone else - and to think, we would have made such an unstoppable couple.
6 - I cannot be wooed, won, or had, by any means. But thank you so much for acting like an arrogant child when I explained how it's gonna be. Tell me this: had I capitulated and gone along with your fierce desires, in what possible reality could we have built something together? None. Not one single logically potential world holds a spot for us. Also, I hope you learn to be nicer to people, because you may think it's cute, but it really just puts me on edge and forces me to do things like kick you out of my ontology of being.
7 - I wish I were as graceful as you can be. Really, you have a lot of the gazelle in you, with those impossibly long legs and slender frame. And I have somewhat of a peahen. We should band together and start a zoo.
8 - I incorrectly judged you before I even met you, and the only thing that could possibly make me feel better about that is that you did the same with me. Just so you know, I'm afraid of girls, and especially brunettes, but you have been such a godsend that I would not know what to do without you. I'm glad you're staying.
9 - There's so much I want to tell you, but I can't even begin. Maybe one day you'll love me for who I actually am, but that will take most of eternity, so I'm not holding my breath.
10 - You put up with me through everything, and even now, you're the only one I feel like talking to when my life implodes upon itself. You were always there when I wanted to come back to you, and that loyalty quite simply, warms my heart.
11 - Now I'm not so positive that things are irreparable between us, and that I should cut my losses and learn to think without your words wrapped around me. I'm not so positive, but I'm not ready to actually hope for a future. Actually, that was a bold-faced lie - you know me well enough to know that I cannot help hoping. I'm just tired of feeling like we're only close in your loss, because to wish for an us is to wish you sad again, and I cannot do that.
12 - No one else in the history of ever can or could make me laugh with the sheer rapture that you can. Call me?
posted by juxtaposer at 7:27 AM
3 Comments:
You left out one "I'm going to put an electric dog trainer around your neck and every time you don't do what I want you're going to get a shock that will make you poop in your pants"
I think there was a reason I left that one out....
i find it no coincidence the comments you have 11th... and i bet i could guess a few more
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