The Whole Town Probably Thinks We Jump Over The Counters And Cart Awat Handfuls Of Whoppers, The Way She Was Yelling

Yesterday I got yelled at for "embezzling from Burger King." My crime? My coworker and I accepted the cheeseburgers they gave us.

I love the ridiculousness that our management has become. I also love the hypocrisy, because if someone the assistant manager likes gets free food from Burger King, oh, there's nothing wrong with THAT.

It was also implicated that I would start trading cigarettes for food and they would put me in jail forever.

Sigh.

Just like the assistant manager (yes, ASSISTANT manager, as in, the actual real for reals manager has no problem with me or the goings-on of Store 45, but this little lady has her panties in a twist and delusions of grandeur or some such) told us to call the police because some old guy who'd been coming in the store forever to play the lottery was helping himself to one of our complimentary cups of coffee. That we, you know, give away to regulars and the police and fire department and park rangers and your mom. She wanted us. To call. The police. We throw away buckets and buckets of coffee every shift, and somehow this sweet old man was...costing us money?

I tried to envision THAT telephone call. "Hey, Randy? [Randy is one of the cops in town, and we have his personal cell phone number.] Yeah, you're supposed to come arrest Doo-Doo [that's what he's called, I swear, and yes, it cracks me up] for getting a cup of coffee. Yeah. That's right. Stop laughing...no, Randy...stop...you have to. Who do you THINK asked me to call the police? Okay. Well, thanks anyway."

I guarantee you the police, even in Buena Vista, have better things to do with their time.

Management has suddenly become a farce - a complete farce. And you all know what happens next.