Don't Worry, Mom, This Was A Text From A Verizon "IN" Customer, Which May Be The Only Kind Of Person I'm Allowed To Be Friends With
I really hate the text messages that say "No one makes me laugh quite the way DavidZobell does."
If that seems a little pointed and specific to you, well, good. It's not like that's the new, cool way to say hi to someone, like these kids are doing with their awkwardly elaborate handshakes, or wierdly distant and brief head nods (though maybe it SHOULD become a new way to say hi - I'll have to look into that, maybe Google around a bit, hack into famous blogs, something), so it's not like I would receive that sort of text message often.
But when I do get text messages like that, immediately I feel a sense of crushing, terrible jealousy and bitter, bitter remorse. I realize that, somewhere out there, people are hanging out with David Zobell, and I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. And do you know WHY I am not one of those people? Because I am dumb and rash enough to transfer schools after my junior year of college. Dumb and rash and BRAVE enough, yes, but when hit in the face with the fact that, oh my goodness, my friends are having fun WITHOUT ME, the bravery becomes oh so much less highlighted.
Well, fine. I'll just have spectacular amounts of fun without THEM. Ha! I'll go buy some two liters of diet coke and plenty of mentos and make little cola-y explosions all over some empty fields somewhere. ...By myself.
Sigh. And then it hits me - my partner-in-crime is pretty much continually MIA, and it's not like I'm the kind of person who can just REPLACE broken partners-in-crime. So it's back to the old internet and thinking that maybe I should pack for more than five days in Provo, because it may turn into just living there for a while.
Provo. Do you see what madness I have been driven to?
If that seems a little pointed and specific to you, well, good. It's not like that's the new, cool way to say hi to someone, like these kids are doing with their awkwardly elaborate handshakes, or wierdly distant and brief head nods (though maybe it SHOULD become a new way to say hi - I'll have to look into that, maybe Google around a bit, hack into famous blogs, something), so it's not like I would receive that sort of text message often.
But when I do get text messages like that, immediately I feel a sense of crushing, terrible jealousy and bitter, bitter remorse. I realize that, somewhere out there, people are hanging out with David Zobell, and I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. And do you know WHY I am not one of those people? Because I am dumb and rash enough to transfer schools after my junior year of college. Dumb and rash and BRAVE enough, yes, but when hit in the face with the fact that, oh my goodness, my friends are having fun WITHOUT ME, the bravery becomes oh so much less highlighted.
Well, fine. I'll just have spectacular amounts of fun without THEM. Ha! I'll go buy some two liters of diet coke and plenty of mentos and make little cola-y explosions all over some empty fields somewhere. ...By myself.
Sigh. And then it hits me - my partner-in-crime is pretty much continually MIA, and it's not like I'm the kind of person who can just REPLACE broken partners-in-crime. So it's back to the old internet and thinking that maybe I should pack for more than five days in Provo, because it may turn into just living there for a while.
Provo. Do you see what madness I have been driven to?
Labels: Daily
posted by juxtaposer at 12:53 PM
2 Comments:
What if I was to tell you that no one makes me laugh like Beth Stevenson? You proved that last night...and no ones electric blanket warms me up quite like Beth Stevenson, and noone is as willing to go on excursions with me in Virginia as much as Beth Stevenson! And noone is as nice to me as Beth Stevenson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I think if the person who sent you that text knew what anxiety it caused you s/he would definitely apologize. It was probably meant as more of an "I miss you" as opposed to a "look what you're missing". Don't you think?
Meanwhile, Provo is looking forward to your visit and if you want to stay, there will always be room . . . and lots of people you love to share it with.
I have lots to tell you. We should talk some time.
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