I Finally Fell In Love, I'd Been Waiting Forever

Some people will want to make fun of me for my sudden declaration of wanting to marry an Amish boy. And some people will be casual and dismissive of my comment, writing it off as whimsy, or silliness.

That's how they always treated me with my declarations growing up, and I still hear echoes of it now. But I can't help it, I cannot help seeing something and being so gripped by that thing that I must share it, with those I trust to understand me. But I can't seem to get most people there; language doesn't do it, and examples don't do it.

Well, so. I've become quite taken with an Amish farm boy. I passed him the other day as he was driving his buggy in the twilight, and suddenly I thought, That. That. He looked strong and sensible and reliable and quiet, and I wanted that - I had never considered before how GOOD for me that would be, until that September quiet and that car ride, and that little burst of fate. I don't know his name, I'll certainly never see him again, but flashes of him keep coming at me.

I'm not being silly. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's because you're missing something, and I don't know what that something is. I've never felt its loss, so I can't recreate it from a hole that is familiar.

And that is all I will say about him.