Thursday, October 28, 2004

"What It's Like When Nothing Feels Alright"

My away message today asked the question "What is wrong with me?" and I got several very nice responses.

Rachael- Something wrong with you? No. You need sleep. Well, some sleep, at some point. And apparently this is that point. I'm hoping you're around at some point because I need/want to talk. Or something.

Art- What's wrong with you is that you thin[k] something is wrong with you, and not everyone else.

Nick- You can see Copeland, Further Seems Forever, Sparta, and Sunshine in SLC on Nov. 27th if you choose.

You can see the kind of relationship that Nick and I have. He tells me about all the good musical stuff that's happening and convinces me to spend all of my money. But I cannot resent him for this because he introduces me to people like Ace Enders. I don't do the whole "celebrity crush" thing (I don't even do the real-life crush thing; it's just not my style, I suppose), but if I had to pick a celebrity to crush on, it would be him. He has nice hands. And his name is Ace Enders. Ace Enders! Need I say more?

But back to my original point. Something IS wrong with me. And looking back at Art's message, I'm wondering if he meant that no one else sees what's wrong with me. His meaning is a bit ambiguous. And he's not here, so I can twist it as much as I want. Hehehe. Although he'll probably get me for it later. Sometimes I think if I were a normal person, I would be afraid and not want to provoke him into arguments. But I have never been a normal person, and he doesn't frighten me. Even though he can make me feel like a stump as no one else can.

I've digressed from my point again.

Maybe it's the weather. Utah rain is the coldest, most horrible thing ever, I've decided. Or maybe it's my new, strange sleep pattern. Or maybe I just need a haircut.

And on the completely random note, has someone ever been talking to you and the thought that streamed below the surface was "just stop talking!!!"? And I do not use these exclamation points lightly. Salesmen. Ugh.

And now I know that I will never be able to discuss what I was originally intending to discuss, so I give up. I figure, if I tried anymore, I would just be diverted again, and the post would become so long that no one would get to the end of it, ever, and it would probably ruin the economy of several small countries. Probably.


Blogger Nick starts with 'n' said...

His real name is Arthur Enders.

(If knowing that his name isn't actually Ace does anything to put a damper on your crush that isn't quite a crush, buying his new CD will provide more than the needed reparations.)

7:40 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

Arthur. How fitting.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Blah. I commented a second ago but the page didn't come up and it got erased. I'll try to remember what I said...

We are all messed up and weird. Some people cover it up, and decide to ignore their problems (and real life, for that matter). And there is no such thing as "normal." I know you hear this crap all the time, but I think it's true.

I think you're great and wonderful and so much fun to be around. Not to mention that "magical" smile that Taylor mentioned in his blog. If you ever want someone to talk to, someone to listen, or just to hang out with, please let me know (#7316... isn't it nice to skip those first three numbers?). I'm not up to much of anything this weekend so tell me if you want to do something.

2:09 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:09 AM  

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