Wednesday, December 15, 2004

"Food for One Thought Shared with a Crowd"

I learned some key things today.

I learned how to do a slapshot. This will come in handy for my hockey career, as was pointed out to me by Arthur Nicolaus. Good thing he's so on-the-ball.

I learned that cold ravioli should never never be eaten. Ever. They invented microwaves for a reason. It didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time, though.

I learned that it is very dark outside at 6:30 in the morning. And cold. Almost as if the Sun had given up and refused to give its warm, kind, life-giving light, dooming me to certain failure on my French final. Don't worry, I noticed all this only after my final, so I had a glimmer of hope motivating me through the three-hour ordeal. That might or might not have involved counting cinderblock tiles during parts of it.

I learned that wasting an entire day is easier than it looks, and I don't know how cut out for this college thing I am. I'm holding out for the Christmas break to motivate me, but you know and I know that it won't. I need some good, old-fashioned competition to keep me on my toes, and I also need for my university of choice to not be in Utah. That's what I'm wishing for for Christmas.

I learned that buying someone a birthday card doesn't necessarily mean I will send it. Five months and counting....

I learned that with the tiniest bit of snooping you can get anyone's address to anywhere. Fear me.

I learned that I am fantastically bored. I kinda just learned that right as I was typing this, but what the heck happened to, "if you get bored, call me"? I am bored. I have called. Looks like I'll be hanging out with myself for a while. I hate when my friends' friends get in the way. (See, look, that whole center-of-attention syndrome again. I told you spoiling was bad for me.)

I learned that being someone's sister-in-law gives you ultimate power and authority over everything. Especially if that sister-in-law is me.

I learned that just because you hate someone and talk trash about them, you can still ask them for favors. Imagine that. I would work on using this one more, but I have a hard enough time asking people for favors anyway, so there could be problems with that.

I learned that in less than three days I will be home in the sweet sweet East Coast air. With people who walk fast and don't look at each other, who know how to correctly pronounce "pen," who don't do crazy things to their hair or act like they've just gotten back from surfing, who know to put pants on when it gets cold, who know what colors are, especially green, and who, best of all, don't assume that when I say I'm from Maryland that equals Massachusetts. Great state I'm sure but uhh when you ask me if I'm from the Boston area, I will tell you how stupid I think you are. Then I will make you buy an atlas. Then I will kill you with it.


Blogger Steve said...

If we all did what you did (write down what we learn every day)we would be alot smarter !!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Baltazar said...

Why go so far to collage into the plain and high winds and artic weather and the conservative ?

9:08 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Hahahaha... Who doesn't know the difference between Maryland and Massachusetts!

9:44 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

Justin- that's why you have me around, I guess. To be the Smart One. Job security. And a whole lot of pressure on me.

Baltazar- Oh, the questions you ask. Oh, the questions. Just so you know, I am only temporarily residing here for purposes of education.

Sam- Um, try introducing yourself to people and telling them you're from Maryland. Seriously. Half the people I talk to mistake it for another M state, usually Massachusetts.

10:02 PM  
Blogger stevo said...

I learned that I need an Anti-Stupid Moron Committee.

12:14 AM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

You're covered. I'm president. Is anyone really surprised at that?

3:19 AM  
Blogger Baltazar said...

Can you blog from an airplane?

9:36 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

I'll try. Or maybe I'll just seize control of the plane and make it spell out words. Or maybe I won't even joke about that because I'm flying into D.C. (I think--good thing my parents know), and that's really Not Funny. Even though it is, and some people need to grow senses of humor.

9:41 PM  
Blogger REDguy said...

I heard of people in Utah who didn't know New Mexico existed... or thought it was another country.

Oh, and Liz, I hope you don't leave Utah before I do. I would miss you... and then I'd have to have you kidnapped. On the other hand, if I left before you did ... well, okay, I'd still have to have you kidnapped.

2:22 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

What is with people wanting to kidnap me? What am I, a celebrity? And don't worry, you left about a day before I did. But I hope everyone misses me! Get used to it, because I might actually die.

11:59 PM  

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