I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth

There's one in EVERY class, and every office, and every sunday school class. You know what I'm talking about: The "smart guy" who thinks he's an expert/funny, or both at once, and who actually is just annoying and pretentious and has no idea what he's really saying.

I'm NOT knocking on the people who are actually intelligent and/or funny. I welcome those people; I wish there were more of you. Of course, you stay respectably in the background until the appropriate time, instead of prostituting your shabby wares around all over the place, like so much verbal puke.

What I AM saying is this: Kid in my class with the tan baseball cap and the blue sweater, who always carries that gym bag from his place of employment, and who is apparently somehow married -- Shut up. No one likes your jokes. We do not think you are funny. And if you force the professor to do an hour of MATH PROOFS on the board instead of giving us an interesting lecture on a subject I (willingly!) signed up for ONE MORE TIME, I will be forced to pass you a note with this blog post's title written in stark black ink.

Sigh.