Wednesday, November 03, 2004

"It's a Good Year for a Murder"

Let me just say that the stand partner is what makes or breaks an orchestral experience. At least playing in an orchestra. If you went to see a symphony orchestra perform, your stand partner wouldn't really make a difference, unless you went together and he smelled really bad or something. Or really good. Because that can be equally distracting.

Anyway. I switched stand partners recently. Best move of my life. My old stand partner (I will refer to her as Lilith from now on, because that is what my new stand partner and I call her; think Frasier's wife) is, in short, Satan. A sneaky, insidious, cold, heartless, black-haired wonder of a violist. Well. I switched a few weeks ago and the laughs have been non-stop. Today bonded us even further as we encountered the problem of having Lilith sit right in front of us (she came late) and glaring back at us frequently. This action puzzled us. In fact, it led to a debate that might never be resolved. I asserted it was because she was in love with Matt, my stand partner, and hated me for claiming the spot next to him that she secretly wanted with all of her black-hearted, icy passion. And fury. You must never forget the fury.

Matt countered that she actually loves me and hates him. He's a weird kid sometimes. We considered following her home, but due to the extreme cold and the scariness of tailing an evil being in the darkness of a deserted night, we decided not to. It was actually mostly the cold. Not everywhere has "perfect convertible weather." I would just like to make that clear.

I just realized this post has deviated entirely from my original intent and the title no longer corresponds in any way. And this is not a minor deviation, like I got sidetracked in storytelling somewhere. I actually started writing it already sidetracked. I amaze myself sometimes. [EDIT: I changed the title, and now it relates]

Back to my story. We normally have two conductors, but tonight the cool one wasn't there. We were left with the other one, who is evil. There sure are a lot of evil people involved in music. But let me back this claim up with actual evidence: she killed the other conductor. Of this, I am certain. Why else would the other conductor not be there?

Maybe I should minor in criminology. My instincts are killer. Which reminds me of a song--guess which.


Blogger REDguy said...

You should definitely, definitely minor in criminology . . . er, if that's possible at pristine BYU. You do conjure up a lot of violent imagery in your BLOG . . . though I'm struggling to remember anything you've said in person . . . Or you could just take up a life of crime. Muuuuuahahahahahahah! (I'd do it just so I could curl my mustache).

2:31 PM  

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