"A Song for a Heart So Big"
Trying to be the example is hard, especially in this case. How does one confront perfection so often without getting discouraged? Because perfection is often harder than we make it to be, a harsher judge, a stricter critic. God-like perfection is... perfect. Understanding and kind and bouyant. Some things will always be hard for me. I am destined to fail and to fail repeatedly, forever, until I die. I embrace that failure, and I welcome it because I do not fear it. I know who I am. How many can truly say that of themselves? Well, I just had a good teacher and an early start. My failure does not lessen me. And there is a secret, soft smile that quiets my face and sweetens my dreams quite often to take away the sting of my too-mortal tears when I forget. There can be no greater Christmas gift.
Happy Birthday, Sarah.
Happy Birthday, Sarah.
posted by juxtaposer at 1:35 AM
2 Comments:
You once asked me if I have ever cried myself awake.....my answer? After every dream I have that can never be real.
Life is sad. Especially when we foolish ones plan it out. I know I can't stop (it's my job as Plan Leader), and I don't think I want to, but it's not a very wise thing to do in many cases. Thing is, I have a gift or a talent or an awful, horrible curse where I can let go of things. Sometimes far too easily, and it saddens me to see how people let me do it, but I take full responsibility for that. Sometimes not so easily at all, and sometimes...sometimes I just don't let go at all. I let go of other things instead like selfishness and greediness and build my hope around something else entirely. If I can't learn to be happy now, then it is going to be a long, cold, horrible eternity. And I'd rather spend it laughing. Or watching the moonlight play over a river at Harper's Ferry.
Post a Comment
<< Home