Sunday, January 16, 2005

"To Ink the Lavender Skies"

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Some days, my head is filled with thoughts and I spill them out onto the screen, my fingers barely able to keep up with it all. But today is an empty day. I just feel compelled to write and see what happens, if maybe I can sort through thoughts and find lumps of truth hidden betwixt them like slivers of silver that shine onto the great, silent clouds at night.

It is a melancholy that pervades, latent in my musings. I still haven't found a word for this semester, but I've tossed melancholy around in my mind not a few times. It doesn't exactly make sense, because my days are so filled I don't have time for any emotion except tired. I'm kicking myself out of cynicism, because that world should never become comfortable to me. Agnes is still my hero, shining good and golden before me.

We all reach those times in our lives where the future is clouded over and the world becomes so immensely frightening. I truly have no idea what to do with myself, and while playing it by ear now is fine, I am desperately hoping to find some path to tread before my years of schooling are up and I have to decide. Playing at adulthood cannot go on forever.

I know what I want. But I do not know if I will ever have it.

2 Comments:

Blogger REDguy said...

I've known to some degree or another what I've wanted to do since I was nine or so... EVERYTHING, or thereabouts. Which is why being a movie director par excellence would be the ideal first tack on my hopes of being termed "Mr. Entertainment." Of course, wielding super-powers and ruling the world is really wh---eh? oh? Oh, scratch that last part...

1:21 AM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

If I have superpowers, why can't you? Just avoid those capes, they're deadly.

1:46 AM  

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