"Hold On, It Gets Better Than You Know"
Things I Learned This Weekend:
1. Stroking the dashboard doesn't always get the car to start.
2. A $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble probably won't cover the price of one of their DVDs. Not even Mulan II with 20% off. And that movie hurts me that it even exists.
3. I should definitely live alone.
4. Sunglasses with blue tint look hot on me.
5. More people believe in my theory of jumping than I previously realized. I should've definitely copyrighted it. Then I could've made millions on royalties and spoiled you all.
6. Evading the police is a lot like playing a video game. Except it's real life and there's no pause button.
7. Nine West shoes always get the compliments. Especially with a bit of D.C. mud on the heel.
8. We all have our leeches. We smile and indulge them, but we have secret leech-bashing parties. If you're never invited to these parties, you might want to take a look around. You could be the leech.
9. Apparently even psychic abilities won't help you guess more than 11 of the 24 Oscar categories correctly.
10. I can't write a Birthday Wish List. I do wish, though, for an excuse to wear my favorite pants again and some Panda Express in a park.
1. Stroking the dashboard doesn't always get the car to start.
2. A $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble probably won't cover the price of one of their DVDs. Not even Mulan II with 20% off. And that movie hurts me that it even exists.
3. I should definitely live alone.
4. Sunglasses with blue tint look hot on me.
5. More people believe in my theory of jumping than I previously realized. I should've definitely copyrighted it. Then I could've made millions on royalties and spoiled you all.
6. Evading the police is a lot like playing a video game. Except it's real life and there's no pause button.
7. Nine West shoes always get the compliments. Especially with a bit of D.C. mud on the heel.
8. We all have our leeches. We smile and indulge them, but we have secret leech-bashing parties. If you're never invited to these parties, you might want to take a look around. You could be the leech.
9. Apparently even psychic abilities won't help you guess more than 11 of the 24 Oscar categories correctly.
10. I can't write a Birthday Wish List. I do wish, though, for an excuse to wear my favorite pants again and some Panda Express in a park.
posted by juxtaposer at 11:51 PM
6 Comments:
look outward thing with wings you arn'i no unicorn Archie
Haha... LEECHES!
I'm working on the whole Panda Express in the park thing for your birthday. And I could always stuff somebody in my suitcase if you want a dead... Yeah so that probably wouldn't be a reason to wear your favorite pants.
Is it bad that having a dead... yeah makes me laugh? And do you know how badly I want to see you? I'm going crazy. Literally. Crazy. There are hallucinations involved, and it's getting worse. And when you come, you have to hang out with Sam
Yes, yes you do.
I want to come see you! Pray for cheap tickets! And my Grandmother only flies Delta or American. So yeah. I'll let you know ASAP.
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