Sunday, February 27, 2005

"Hold On, It Gets Better Than You Know"

Things I Learned This Weekend:

1. Stroking the dashboard doesn't always get the car to start.

2. A $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble probably won't cover the price of one of their DVDs. Not even Mulan II with 20% off. And that movie hurts me that it even exists.

3. I should definitely live alone.

4. Sunglasses with blue tint look hot on me.

5. More people believe in my theory of jumping than I previously realized. I should've definitely copyrighted it. Then I could've made millions on royalties and spoiled you all.

6. Evading the police is a lot like playing a video game. Except it's real life and there's no pause button.

7. Nine West shoes always get the compliments. Especially with a bit of D.C. mud on the heel.

8. We all have our leeches. We smile and indulge them, but we have secret leech-bashing parties. If you're never invited to these parties, you might want to take a look around. You could be the leech.

9. Apparently even psychic abilities won't help you guess more than 11 of the 24 Oscar categories correctly.

10. I can't write a Birthday Wish List. I do wish, though, for an excuse to wear my favorite pants again and some Panda Express in a park.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

look outward thing with wings you arn'i no unicorn Archie

9:24 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Haha... LEECHES!

10:48 AM  
Blogger Rachael said...

I'm working on the whole Panda Express in the park thing for your birthday. And I could always stuff somebody in my suitcase if you want a dead... Yeah so that probably wouldn't be a reason to wear your favorite pants.

12:11 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

Is it bad that having a dead... yeah makes me laugh? And do you know how badly I want to see you? I'm going crazy. Literally. Crazy. There are hallucinations involved, and it's getting worse. And when you come, you have to hang out with Sam

3:21 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Yes, yes you do.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

I want to come see you! Pray for cheap tickets! And my Grandmother only flies Delta or American. So yeah. I'll let you know ASAP.

7:05 PM  

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