Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Birdhouse In Your Ceiling

Let me preface this by saying that this is quite possibly just one of those things that you have to bere there for. I wouldn't know; I was there and it was funny enough to me, but I can't un-there myself to look at the story objectively, so I'll just cross my fingers and hope that it all works out in the end.

A few days ago now, I think, my friend Art heard some scuffling in the cieling tiles of his kitchen and swore he saw a bird trapped up above one of the flourescent light fixtures. He thought he'd gone crazy until his roommate Mike saw it. Art told me about the bird Sunday night, and I laughed, but for someone reason didn't expect to have any contact with it.

Today I was sitting on one of the couches; Mike and Matt were on campus doing there thing, and it was just me and Art and JJ in the house - except I heard someone rustling around in the kitchen. My response was to ask no one in particular if someone were in the kitchen. "It's the bird!" was Art's gleeful reaction, so I bolted out to the kitchen to see if I could glimpse it.

Sure enough, there was a bird hopping around on the clear light fixture tile. I took one of the clear tiles out of the ceiling so the bird could get out. Art said something about that being a terrible idea, as it would release the bird into the main house, but I really didn't see another option for freeing the bird. Sure enough, the bird found its way over and out, and it started flying frantically around the kitchen, looking for a way out. Art opened the kitchen window, but realized it had a screen. We darted into the living room to look for a screenless window, while the bird was still flitting about the kitchen. Art found an open window, but the bird had meanwhile made its way into the living room, and over to the window under the projector, right where JJ was. Art told us to chase the bird to the open window - yeah, right. A wild, crazy, half-starved bird? It was flying into the window, and JJ tried to catch it, but he was afraid it would bite him. We almost collapsed laughing when JJ made a grab for the thing, and it darted at him, and he very very audibly expressed his dismay and displeasure and general fear of the large and sharp beak. Finally it flew over to the open window - and crashed into the unopened upper part of the window. By the time it finally flew free, we were beside ourselves with laughter and excitement. First of all, we'd freed a trapped bird - and how many times does a wild bird get into a house? Second, the thing was CRAZY, and it kept darting around and going all berserk all over the place. Third - I dunno, there's not really a third. But there was a BIRD. Flying around the HOUSE. That should really be enough.


Blogger Mooney said...

Buster: (Destroying the kitchen whilst swatting at something) It's a bird!
Lucille: I know it's a bird! Would you be quiet?
Buster: It walked on my pillow!

1:21 PM  
Blogger Baltazar said...

Did it find a potted plant and peck at the dirt ? mine did..

5:13 PM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are birds in your kitchen the same as bats in your belfry? :-)

8:58 AM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

Jared - thank you for making me laugh right out loud. It was very very much appreciated. I should come visit you in Boston sometime so we can watch Arrested Development together again. And, ya know, so I can meet all your awesome friends and see the sights.

Anonymous - Probably. But since it's Art, Mike, Matt, and JJ's kitchen...they're the crazy ones.

11:58 AM  
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