Wednesday, March 30, 2005

"It's Empty Tonight And I'm All Alone"

Dear Chocolate Easter Rabbit My Grandmother Sent Me,

It's not that I don't love you. You're a part of my Easter tradition, and indeed, it cannot really be Easter until I take a bite out of your rich, chocolatey ears. The yellow slip telling me you are in the office waiting for me calls out to me during the day when I'm at class or in the library pretending to do research. But at night, when I come home from a long day filled with projects and papers and demands on my time, well, usually the office has closed and locked you in its nefarious, malevolent grasp. I surely hope the new management has not taken nibbles out of you. There is a process to eating chocolate Easter rabbits, and I'm certain those cretins don't know it. You don't know me yet, my easter rabbit, but I am a methodical person. First will go your ears, then your head, and all that will be left at the end is a pair of good-luck feet that I will relish with the utmost relishness. You will bring me much pleasure this year, my friend. If only I could claim you.

With the fondest hopes and dreams,

Elizabeth

3 Comments:

Blogger Baltazar said...

I was on a team that atemped to eat a foot tall choclet rabbit once we cood not do it the chocalet was quater inch thick or more the whole neiborhood was unable to do it

10:29 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

UPDATE. Ears and head: gone.

1:31 AM  
Anonymous JF said...

Dear remaining two and one-half cookies that I'm having with a glass of milk as a snack before going to bed,

::snarf::

Mmm,
John

12:45 AM  

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