Monday, March 06, 2006

Confronting One's Worst Fear And Running Away From It

Hello, all.

If we were having a conversation on the internet, this is probably how it would go:
You: hey
Me: !!
You: ?
Me: i forgot to tell you something really, really important, holy cow
Because we all know that capitalization is for wussies when it comes to instant messaging. That's right, wussies. And Dallan Bunce.

Anyway, dear friends, !! I forgot to tell you something really, really important, but I'm going to do it now.

The other night, I was chatting with someone while doing homework when I noticed that a spider was crawling on the bedroom ceiling. I didn't panic just then, because it was over on my roommate's side of the room, and as great of a roommate as she is, I'm not touching a spider for her; she'll just have to deal with being eaten and killed in the middle of the night, oh well. After a while it disappeared and I forgot about it, amazingly.

My roommate came home then and we chilled and did whatever, and then I noticed that the spider was crawling on her shelf, so she got some paper towel or something and picked it up to carry it outside and let it go (because she's crazy and doesn't realize that spiders are not things whose lives we should seek to preserve, especially not when they've shown an inclination for coming inside my dwelling place). As she got out in the hallway I heard an "Uh oh." Those are two words you do NOT want to hear when someone is carrying one of your worst fears in their cupped and deranged hands to get it out of your life forever. Trust me, the "Uh oh" is never good.

Well, turns out sh'd dropped the thing, or it leaped out of her hands to come after me, or something; it doesn't really matter what exactly happened, the important thing is, there was a spider loose in the apartment and I DID NOT KNOW WHERE IT WAS.

I didn't panic, though. I have no idea how that happened, but I kept my cool and didn't immediately move to a different state (preferably to Art's who (at least used to) keep the house spider-free to encourge visits).

I DID panic later, though, when I glanced to my right and noticed the spider CRAWLING ON MY BED. What if I hadn't noticed? What if I had switched off the light and gotten into bed with THAT bedfellow? I would have died. I would simply have ended things right then and there if a spider had been in my bed with me, because the 0.3 seconds we spent ON the same bed were almost too much to handle.

I made the roommate kill it that time. I wasn't going to risk any more "Uh oh"s.



Blogger JENNIFER said...

I'd kill a spider for you any day.

I was just trying to be an Oregonian and preserve living things.

I got him in the end.

11:54 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

Yeah, well, you know what they say about Oregonians.

2:21 AM  
Blogger Jacob said...

Go Oregon! Don't they say that Oregonians are great?

2:28 AM  
Blogger adam said...

i think they say that they're from oregon. but... i don't really get out much, so i could be wrong.

5:52 AM  

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