Wednesday, July 30, 2008

To All My Homegirls Out There

I hope she doesn't kill me for posting this.

Now, girls aren't getting off easy, here. As often as boys can be idiots, girls are scheming jerks. But in my broad experience there have been many, many boys who've blown it big time, and it just sort of leaves me with my head cocked to one side going, "Really? That was your choice? Because...seriously?" And then I shrug my shoulders and go find something better to do with my time.

While the guy I want is wasting his time with a crazy/stupid/wimpy girl. But his punishment is that he has to spend time with her, so karma takes care of everything for me.

The moral of this story is, call when you say you'll call, we really do want to hear from you. And if we miss your call then call you back, don't passively-aggressively punish us by not answering your phone. We know you're busy, and we're willing to give you yards and yards of the benefit of the doubt, but eventually we have to decide if you're legit or just a tool, and there are terribly few capable, smart, cool girls out there - and we all know each other, and trust us, we talk - so don't ruin your chances. Or else start looking forward to a lifetime of watching 27 Dresses with Brindee and watching her spend all your money on throw pillows and pedicures.

And in exchange, we'll try really hard to have rational explanations for our feelings, and to express them to you in clear-cut, up-front, honest ways. We won't make you pry them out of us to show us how much you REALLY CARE, we won't throw things at your head when we're frustrated (except when you deserve it, and you know sometimes you do), we won't pitch screaming fits about how you never really cared about us. We know, we have issues. Try processing seven different emotions a second. Go ahead, try. Were you successful? Now picture doing that all day every day FOR THE REST OF FOREVER. It's exhausting. And we're usually too busy to take a nap. So cut us some slack and learn to work with us.

We could really work out something pretty fantastic.


Blogger brianne said...

I'm never too busy to take a nap. Hey remember that boy that I loved so dearly and everyday we had to cock our heads to one side and go, "Really? That was your choice? Because...seriously?"

2:39 PM  
Blogger Dallan said...

Beth, Maybe you should quit pining over a boy that is too busy for you because he is involved with a crazy/stupid/wimpy girl and make a smart emotional investment... you know, like pining over a boy that is too far away!

... oh and one other thing, there's a secret

10:46 PM  
Blogger Mooney said...

Neglected blog.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey...where are you at? I miss your humor and wit.

--blog stalker

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This hit home and was very needed. You'll never in a million years guess who this is, but thank you.

4:49 PM  
Anonymous WylM.J. said...

7 issues huh...if only I had one to stick in my...btw, i styll think you're FABULOUSLY, Vartan x<;0}

2:12 AM  

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