Monday, March 07, 2005

"This Place And This City It's Good For Nothing But Feeling Down"

So I have this saying that goes something like "Girls are jerks. Stay away from them." It's amazing how often I have occasion to bring out this particular motto. Sitting around of an evening, conversing with friends and family, trading stories and banter, things come up, and those things are not pretty.

Thing is, I don't know so much about girls. I had to ask a guy today if girls really consumed ice cream to cheer themselves up. Because I didn't know. I knew the movies say they do, but the movies have this carefully constructed imaginary world in which fantastic things often occur that never occur in reality. I don't know where this Movie Land is hidden; it seems pretty nice usually, but then sometimes people drink shampoo in Movie Land to, I don't know, get over their ex or conjure her up or something (I'm not too clear on what the purpose was, I was trying to forget the movie as I was watching it).

What I DO know about is guys. I know a lot of girls label guys as jerks and have guy-bashing parties. I also know a lot of girls only hang out with guys because they're "so much better than girls." What a load of garbage. Girls are jerks and guys are idiots, but what would life be like if guys and girls never mixed?

It would be boring and there would be nothing to complain about. Or to love. So when I say "Girls are jerks. Stay away from them," I mean, "Ouch. That stinks. Um, ice cream? I hear people do that when they feel down." In the end, it all boils down to the need for decency. I haven't forgotten the campaign. I think it's time we made t-shirts.


Blogger stevo said...

Icecream really does help. And I don't mean like an icecream cone. It's the going to the grocery store and buying a couple half gallons that does the trick. Don't forget the tissues. They'll be needed.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Laci04 said...

Hence my reasoning that all men should be eliminated off the face but Ben and Jerry. They can stay.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Bryant said...

"Girls are jerks and guys are idiots."
I think that's a pretty accurate assessment.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Movies tell the truth. I am sure of it. Everything you need to know is in some movie, you just have to know which one. Turns out that most people ore jerks, stuipid or boring. This applies just as much to guys as girls. Avoiding being mean, intentionally and unintentionally, and boredom is a pretty good recipe for awesomeness.

6:52 PM  
Blogger juxtaposer said...

"Boredom is a pretty good recipe for awesomeness." Did I misunderstand you? Please tell me I'm a stupid moron and did. Boredom is not awesomeness. I know boredom. I've been proposed to by boredom. I've sat in classes taught by boredom. I've wrestled with the towel-like arm of Boredom Himself. It's not too cool. Decency, something I like to practice, has never led to my being bored. I can roll down a hill or bake cuppin' cakes without crossing any boundaries.

Ahh, sweet cuppin' cakes... the bountiful harvests of decency.

4:21 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

It's definitely time we made t-shirts. Let's do it.

And don't forget that if not for boredom, we wouldn't have driven 7 hours to Colorado.

10:05 AM  

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