Sunday, November 30, 2008

Because I Find Lists To Be The Easiest Way Of Letting You Know What I'm Up To

Hello, Internet! Hi. You can't see it, but I'm doing one of those low, self-conscious waves at you that little kids do while they're coiled tightly around Mom's leg. Because, Internet, I feel like we are strangers, but possibly you have candy to give me, so I'm willing to give it a shot. Do you like the analogy? I like the analogy. Also, I spent my day with two-year-olds, so it came readily to mind.

Here are some things I have been up to:

1. I got a Wii. It is fantastic, and I have been playing Mario Kart like a mad woman, and my plan was to assemble all of my friends, and we would play Wii, and it would be fantastic. And then they all went out and got their own Wiis. I almost had real-life friends, though. Almost.

2. Watching all those movies people just ASSUME I've seen, because everyone has seen them, but I haven't. I don't know what I was up to while everyone else was out watching Forrest Gump - that's right, haven't seen it.

3. Compiling Christmas Gift Lists. So many people these days have so little, and I am blessed enough to have more than I need. I am doing my own, small part to stimulate the economy, and presents are involved, too, hoorah! You don't know how I agonize over gift-giving, either.

4. Fiercely combating with entropy. Do you know how difficult it is to keep a room clean, when it's not YOUR room, and the room's occupant keeps bringing dirty dishes into it and saves every last receipt he has ever gotten, ever? I started with a hamper, a bill folder, and some organizational drawers. It will end in bloodshed, I have no doubt. Bloodshed, or scented candles.

5. Buying laptops for people. Everyone wants a laptop, and no one knows what sort will be a good fit for them. So I get to show off my skills and sniff out the best deals, and for some reason people think I am using my own special brand of magic, instead of Google and a little splash of patience. Here's my advice, people: Type in "good deals on laptops," and have at it! Or just "good deal laptop." "Good laptop deal." "Deal laptop good"? Turn it into a game. Play with the kids!

6. Using illegal quantities of lotion. I cannot stand dry skin. Winter time, I am looking at you.

7. Bathing a large, unappreciative, very furry cat. At one point, he tried to escape from the tub, and of course it was when he was covered in soap. I suddenly had a vision of this soaking-wet, twenty-pound, slimy gargantuan cat streaking loose through the house. You should try it some time.

8. Hunting down Count Chocula cereal. I used to buy it about twice a year for friends and/or church activities, and it was always easy to find, back then. Then came a day when I wanted some for myself, and lo and behold, it became the rarest and most impossible thing to find. I moved back to Maryland, which had plenty of grocery stores, and I thought my luck would improve, but alas, it did not. Now if a store sells it, I buy two boxes. Also, because I am an adult, I can eat it any time I want. Sometimes I'm lying around, enjoying a bowl, then I go grab a slice of cheesecake to complete my dinner, and I think to myself, "Holy cow, it is cool being a grown-up. Rent is not cool. But the food selections more than make up for it."

9. Not doing laundry. Worrying about it takes up a lot of time. Trust me on this one.

10. Missing you. Seriously.